it is hard to breathe

I am not sure what is going on with me. I cannot breathe. I cannot get past the ache in my throat to even swallow correctly I cannot lay next to my husband, with my hand over his chest, feeling that strong heartbeat, without crying. I didn't even know you could cry while you were sleeping. Yet I wake up and my pillow is wet. and i pray and pray and pray for a woman i do not even know. Amy.