My Butt

My butt is big
and round like the letter C
and ten thousand lunges
have made it rounder
but not smaller
and that's just fine.
It's a space heater
for my side of the bed
it's my ambassador
to those who walk behind me
it's a border collie
that herds skinny women
away from the best deals
at clothing sales.
My butt is big
and that's just fine
and those who might scorn it
are invited to kiss it.
Just do it.